Therapist Guidelines To Knowing Ourselves Fully

You don’t have to a therapist to agree that a personality introduction is typical for us humans. Its factors consist of skills, capabilities, intellect, flexibility, contentment, and social involvement. With all these things we thought are essential often make us forget about one thing – knowing ourselves. That is because it is our nature to pay too much attention to everything around us. With that uncalled for attention towards other things that seem a little off, it leads us to pay less attention to ourselves. But how can we judge ourselves? How can we determine who we are? How can we know how far we can become?

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Is It Dependent On The Quality Of Life?

There is a belief that the quality of our lives is mostly determined by how we carry ourselves around the public. There is the a concern on what type of clothes should we wear, what kind of job should we take, what kinds of food should we eat, what characters of people should we hang out, what model of car should we park outside, what representation of home should we live in, and so on. It is often about status and achievement. But honestly, that is not entirely important. Instead, it is about the capacity of happiness and fulfillment we can obtain from unfortunate instances that we cannot control. It is about knowing how far we are willing to take risk, sacrifice, and make amends to the betterment of the situation. We believe that everything that happens in our lives is from the consequences of the things we do. Perhaps, it is. We can set impossible goals for our happiness. But that claim does not entirely support the totality of understanding what makes us who we are. Our status and quality of life mean little to less than nothing.

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Can We Know Ourselves Through Our Action And Words?

The process often used to determine oneself is through actions and words. People judge each other with how they act and respond according to mild and complicated situations. There is this mentality that those people who share and help others are the good ones. And those who do not lend a hand are the bad ones. Same goes to the utilization of words. Those people who often talk, curse, and say mean things get viewed as evil persons, while those individuals who often choose their words appropriately gets perceived as educated and well-mannered ones. Yes, both cases don’t seem to contradict the logic of knowing someone through impression. However, it is not often the case. Not all people who do good things in front of others are good people. And not all those individuals who talk too much impoliteness are all terrible people. Everything is a matter of looking through everyone else’s other side of the story.

Can Our Choices And Decisions In Life Determine Who We Are?

In most instances, our choices and decisions in life matter most. Whether it is about sticking into a belief that others do not agree upon, or staying true to a crooked principle that no one value. Either way, we end up creating a verdict as to how we see things around us. But in determining the kind of persons we are, our life choices and decisions do not entirely represent the whole perception of what can we become. Instead, it is both the mistakes and results of the choices we make. Everything lies in the ability to face and conquer the consequences of the decisions we chose, whether it is right or wrong. We can never tell and make everyone agree that we are competent individuals. That is because we live in imperfections. We can never imply that what we do poorly is just the result of emotional and mental struggle. No one will believe it and will genuinely picture it only as an excuse.

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So How Can We Know Ourselves?

The truth is, knowing ourselves is genuinely hard. That is because every time we experience something in our lives, we often change our perception. We learn through the process of getting hurt. We become engaged when we are down and become weak when we are alone. We start changing views when there is a change in our environment. We see things differently every day. There is no consistency in knowing. But fortunately, we are aware of who we are and what we can become. Every one of us has an idea of how much we can be willing to become someone we are supposed to be.

How Can I Stop Projecting Onto Others?

 

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Jean-Paul Sartre, a reputable philosopher, once stated that hell is other people. Do you feel that way, like you see hell and rage in other people? I do. And I am struggling to find ways to avoid lashing out especially towards my family and significant others. There are just moments when I think of past hurts, and someone comes over to talk to me about anything, and I find him annoying or irritating. What’s worst, I can’t help but shout at him and say, “Can you please get out of my face?”

I’d like to think that all of us have experienced feeling this way. Often, a coworker distracts us from whatever we’re focusing on perhaps just to invite us for a snack, but you told him to go away. Or your mom’s bossy nature pushes you to snap and bang your door behind her. And then you think to yourself, “I will never find peace until they change who they are.”

Identifying Projection

These thoughts we have about other people and how they are the cause of our misery are often wrong. According to psychologists, we attribute the qualities we hate in ourselves to other people, and then those people distract us and make us mad when they bluntly tell us what traits we’re trying to hide.

Some of us (yes, I included), in our efforts to deny a trait that we don’t like about ourselves, dare to tell others, “I am not like that, and never will I be,” so that attention is repelled towards the other person. And yet when that person gives up and disowns that particular trait, some other person will come into your life and trigger you with that trait. It will almost always be like that until you learn to acknowledge that you want so much to reject that trait in yourself! Psychotherapist Joseph Burgo describes this as one’s innate affinity towards integration.

I am sharing what I have learned through research and online articles about stopping projection off its tracks and preventing it from destroying our new and old relationships. Here are some tips on how to combat this devious defense mechanism.

 

Innate Traits We Need To Overcome

  • Ego. We sometimes tend to think that we’re almost always perfect in our ways, which has its disadvantages. This is why when someone challenges our views, we get angry and often blame other people for causing us to feel that way, when in fact we did that to ourselves.
  • Habit. The habit of blaming other people for making us feel what we don’t want to feel is difficult to stop. We may have been projecting for so long to a person or a group; this pattern may be so embedded that it becomes a natural defense against anything unpleasant for us.

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  • Decreased Awareness. I, for one, was not conscious that I was actually projecting my rage and worry towards my husband. I just noticed it not so long ago, when I felt signs like stress, tension, and mental preoccupation.
  • Fatigue. When we are over-worked and exhausted, we easily succumb to our temper and emotions, which is why we are inclined to project how we feel onto other people.
  • Emotional Resistance. The entire point of projection is to unburden ourselves of our anxiety, grief, anger, and shame onto other people. Thus, it is typical that we try not to acknowledge these feelings and what we have done to destroy our relationships. Of course, when we finally do, we don’t take the projection back simply because it hurts.
  • Dehumanization. It is the process of assigning a symbol to the person we are projecting into. We don’t see him wholly as a person, but as the mean boss or the clingy jerk. They become a representation of the things you hate.

Tips In Stopping Projection

  • Be Calm. When you feel the temper starting to swallow your mind and body, take a few breaths, four counts to inhale and eights to exhale. This has been a proven method of calming oneself down.
  • Don’t Be Too Preoccupied. The projection has features that separate it from simple annoyance or irritation. The most obvious is focusing too much on the other person, with accompanying beliefs that you are and will never be that other person. There’s so much self-justification in projection.
  • Look Inside You. Projection is technically turning towards another person, or turning outward. And the best cure for this quality is practicing self-awareness. Connect with your inner self and how you can fight negativity. This will help control your obsession towards your target person and instead shift your attention to better things.
  • Be Real. Psychotherapist Burgo agrees that problematic individuals may have the same negative traits that you disown yourself from. However, we frequently project what is real. For instance, if you are a nagger, you will tend to project it towards someone who is a nagger. Only that being a nagger is not their only trait. They have other traits too, some positive.

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  • Show Empathy. When you’re empathic, you try to imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes, imagine living his life. This way, you might be able to stop thinking of him as someone who is out there to destroy you, but perhaps like, you, he is also struggling to be the best person despite the challenges.

 

 

 

 

The Amazing Benefits of Dancing

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A lot of us are not sufficiently active on a regular basis. We often don’t fulfill even half of the exercise regimen that we ought to do for us to be mentally and physically healthy. We should know by now that our bodies are not built to be stagnant and still for a long time – unless we are being a couch potato and just watching television the whole day, working on a desk for 8 to 16 hours, or sleeping for most of the day. These activities are a surefire way to develop back pain, obesity and ultimately stroke and heart attack.

This only means that the best way to encourage ourselves to move is to perform activities that are not work-related that we can do in our homes. Dancing is one of the top choices. It’s not only fun but also being skilled at dancing is tremendously good for one’s health.

Below is a list of some amazing mental and physical benefits of dance.

It Improves Flexibility. Dancing teaches one to be flexible, as most fast dance types require kicks, dips, grinds, and even jumps. If you’re part of a dance group, you will be engaged in hours of warm-up sessions that will involve simple and complicated stretches. Improving your flexibility decreases your chances of getting injured.

It Helps You Lose Weight. Anyone who has tried doing several moves daily will attest that dancing is a fun way to lose those flabs. You don’t need to punish yourself by not eating your favorite food. Maybe just consume a little, and then join a dance class instead of sweating it out in the gym or going for night runs. That’s way more serious and boring than dancing, right? Dance is something you can do for fun and health reasons, plus you get to meet new friends.

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It Develops Good Posture. Incorrect posture from working on the computer for hours or wrong sleeping positions often result in a permanent slouch with the shoulders forward and the spine bent. If this is not corrected, a person may not be able to breathe properly, as his lungs are unable to expand fully because of the slouch. To be a good dancer, you must maintain a confident aura, one with her head held high, shoulders rolled backward, and chest out. This position prevents back pain and keeps the joints aligned and the whole body symmetrical.

It Enhances Balance. Ballet – hip hop ballet if you want something more active – entails the heavy use of the legs and feet. Therefore, you must have the balancing skills to avoid injury. Practicing this skill builds muscle strength, especially from your core, back and leg muscles. Routines such as balancing on one foot would also require focus and concentration; thus you are able to improve your mental health as well.

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Sets A Happy Mood. As an art and a sport, dancing releases toxins and endorphins at the same time. These happy hormones improve one’s mood and decrease one’s chances of experiencing anxiety or depression.

Bottom Line

Undeniably, dancing is a fantastic way of achieving a great body and a mentally healthy mind. It is an all-around activity that not only makes you a star in the future, but a confident individual that is fit, toned, and beautiful.

 

Adult ADHD: How To Improve Your Communication Skills (Therapy Necessary Too!)

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It is a challenge to have ADHD especially when you’re an adult. You are considered lucky if the issue – Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – was diagnosed early on and you’ve had therapy sessions. The problem will affect your life, that is, if you have been suffering from it without treatment.

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Tupac, His Music, And Me (Us Against The World)

I heard his name but was not interested in knowing who he is.   I heard so many bad things about him, a gangster whose music is not good for the kids to listen to.  In short, I was not a fan.  I thought back then his music was all noise.  But one day as I was on the bus, his music played.  “Dear Mama” put me into tears right at my seat.   Oh my!

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When We Fail To Act Like A Human

What does it take to be a human?  In my almost half a century of existence, once in a while I ask myself, have I lived my life like how a human being should? Is it just about helping others, becoming a better citizen, contributing to the society I am in? When I fail to be human, am I failing my fellow human being?

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What Makes A True Artist Tick?

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Artists are known to be eccentric because of the different way they view some things in life. Whereas you may always want to capture the smile on everyone’s face, for instance, they prefer to highlight the pain, longing, or sorrow in someone’s eyes. If you paint the sun yellow and the sky blue, in their mind and heart, the two may be reddish or grayish, respectively. Continue reading “What Makes A True Artist Tick?”

6 Ways To Protect Your Home While You’re Out Of Town

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One of the things that you may look forward to the most is the time when you can pack your bags and go on a lengthy vacation. You may travel to a tropical country or rent a house by the lake for at least a week without needing to think about the work waiting for you when you return. For sure, everyone has the same idea on top of their to-do list, especially when you can count the number of days you got to relax throughout the year with only your ten fingers.

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